When Brenda Dyson and her sisters learned in August of 1987 that Brenda was experiencing kidney failure and would have to undergo dialysis, they didn't quite know how to react to the news. Brenda had been feeling ill for about a year and the family was still recovering from the loss of their mother, who had passed away the previous June.

The sisters did not have much time to consider the news because Brenda needed to be dialyzed immediately. On the first day of Brenda's treatment her two sisters, Lisa, then 25 and Lynda, then 23, stayed with her. Brenda recalls Lisa standing in the dialysis unit crying incessantly and asking doctors how much time her sister had left. After a few more treatments, Brenda and her sisters realized that she was not going to die and assumed life would return to normal.

"They didn't understand, anymore than I did, just how different our lives were about to become," Brenda said. "My social worker wrote that I was almost 'too calm'."

A few weeks later, Brenda moved to Jackson, Mississippi, found a job at a local hospital and moved into a new apartment. She and her sisters then began training for home hemodialysis along with her sisters. Patients on home hemodialysis must receive training for several weeks and require a partner at all times.

In early 1988, the three sisters decided to move in together to make things easier. Lisa and Lynda worked out a schedule to help their sister with her treatment.

"They would rotate to make sure someone was with me during my treatments. I was on the machine by 6:00 p.m., off at 10:00, in bed by 10:45 and back at work by 8:00 a.m.," Brenda said.

In late 1989, Brenda accepted a job as the Medical Review Coordinator for ESRD Network 8 in Jackson and began to think about receiving a transplant.

She decided to take some time to settle into her new job and wait for her insurance's pre-existing clause to elapse before having the transplantation surgery. Meanwhile, she failed to recognize how many demands she was making of her sisters on a daily basis.

"I would get on the machine, turn my television on and start barking out orders," Brenda remembers. "I really think that the people that care about you and love you are more affected by the treatment than you are," Brenda admits.

From the day Brenda began dialysis, both sisters had been willing to donate a kidney to Brenda. Lisa and Lynda talked about it frequently, and Brenda promised to accept their offer if one was a suitable match. After three and a half years on hemodialysis and with encouragement from her sisters, Brenda decided she was ready for a transplant.

Lisa and Lynda were tested and doctors told Brenda that both donors would work but that Lynda was the better match. This surprised the family as Lisa and Brenda more closely resemble each other physically, as well as emotionally.

"I was a little bit relieved when I learned it was Lynda," Brenda admits. "She's a relaxed person and handles pain very well. Lisa is a little more like me and tends to get anxious about some things."

The operation was performed on December 7, 1990. Throughout the operation, Lisa remained very nervous and anxious to hear how her sisters were doing.

"Lisa was very emotional knowing both of her sisters were undergoing surgery," Brenda said. "It was difficult for her, probably more so than for us."

Both Brenda and Lynda left the hospital within a week. Lynda has handled the operation perfectly and Brenda has not suffered any serious complications. They continue to live together in Jackson.

Brenda recognizes how important her sisters were to her well-being, especially the first few months when they were very emotional.

"We are a very close family and I couldn't imagine them not being there. I couldn't think for one minute that they wouldn't be part of it all," Brenda said.

Brenda knows that Lynda and Lisa played a crucial role in each stage of her illness. They were there for each other in the beginning when they were still dealing with the loss of their mother. They were there when she was struggling with the transition to dialysis and the lifestyle changes that accompanied it. They were there for her when she needed a kidney transplant. And they have been there ever since.

Brenda Dyson is the Special Studies/Patient Services Coordinator for ESRD Network 8. She holds the office of secretary for the national AAKP Board of Directors and is involved in numerous AAKP committees. She has been a member of the Board of Directors for over three years.

This article originally appeared in aakpRENALIFE, Vol. 15, No. 4, March 2000.

Back