By Jessica L. Ruiz

Pets are lovable cuddly animals without a care in the world, dependent in every way on their caretakers. If you ask me for an example of a good friendship, I would say, "the innocent and sweet bond between a child and his or her pet." I can point to the bond I shared with my pet poodle, Cinnamon.

It all began when I found out that I had kidney failure in the summer of 1996. This was all new to me. At the age of 11, I did not know how the kidneys functioned. As frequent hospital stays became longer, I began to realize how serious this sickness was. I was always out of school due to hospital appointments and dialysis at the Children's Hospital of Philadelphia. Many changes took place in my life that were hard to adapt to and difficult to accept. I never thought this could happen to me. I came from a long line of healthy family members who lived well into their 80s and 90s. It was too much to grasp and I grew tired of all the disappointments.

After some time, I came to accept the changes in my life and desired to make things better. I tried to think of all the things that would keep me occupied. I had too much time at home and this gave me too much time to think of all the bad things that were happening to me. I needed company, someone to talk to. The image of a puppy soon came to my mind. I believe if you want a pet, then you must be ready to take care of it like one of the family. I was ready to take that responsibility. I asked my father for a puppy and to my surprise, he agreed.

I went all the way to Brooklyn, NY from my home in Vineland, NJ to pick up my friend to be. I was so happy and anxious to see my new puppy. I reached my destination and fell in love with her from the very minute I saw her. She was a little teacup poodle. Her eyes and nose were the color of cinnamon red, so we named her Cinnamon. Her fur was white and tangled and she really needed my attention. She was one happy puppy and I could tell she wanted a friend as much as I did. We were meant to be friends.

Cinnamon was about eight months old when we adopted her. My father gave me her papers and it was time to take her home! It was so funny on the ride home because Cinnamon was practically dizzy with motion sickness, but she became used to it after the third hour. As soon as we arrived home, we gave her a haircut with the works. Like most poodles, she was a fast learner. We developed our own special language and I was so thankful for her.

Cinnamon helped me in so many ways. Playing with her made me more active. I enjoyed getting up to go outside to walk her. I grew more relaxed and just enjoyed life when I made my puppy happy. I guess the saying, "if you give a little, you get a little" is true because all the love I gave Cinnamon she gave back 100 percent without hesitation. My mind was set on positive goals, which led me away from the depression and anger over my sickness. I read that depression lowers your immune system and you are more likely to get sick quicker. Chemicals in your body can go haywire and lead to a duller image of life. But when Cinnamon came into my life, that all changed for me. The company of my puppy also helped me improve my blood pressure. It's a fact that pets can help lower blood pressure. Cinnamon helped me look at life as it should be: a blessing. I remember each time I took her outside she would walk in circles and that always made me laugh.

My friendship with Cinnamon was innocent and sweet but unfortunately, it was cut short after only a year and a half. My family and I moved to Florida. One day, I had to be admitted to the hospital. Cinnamon was playing with my brother and sister in the backyard. I said goodbye to everyone but did not realize that I was saying goodbye to Cinnamon for the last time. As I left my house, neighbors say, she was running after my car. My mother and I did not realize this. My brother tried to get her but she was too quick they say. My sister thought she would come back before I came home. Unfortunately, this is not what happened. When I got back from the hospital, I was told she had run away. I cried because my friend was gone. I called dozens of places to try and find her with no luck. She was never found. I tried to convince myself that she was fine but it's hard when I cannot see her. I pray that someone has found her and is taking care of her. I am 16 now and still think of her.

Pets are angels in disguise I believe. I feel that Cinnamon was my angel and I am at peace now with her loss. God knows I need a friend now. If I were to have another pet, in loving memory of my beloved pet, I would call him or her Cinnamon. If you know someone who is capable of caring for a pet, and is in need of a friend, a pet would be a wondrous gift. I sure feel blessed to have had Cinnamon in my life. From my wonderful experience with my beloved pet, I believe it never hurts to be accompanied by one. To me they are angels in disguise. In my case, it was Cinnamon.

Jessica L. Ruiz resides in Deltona, FL.

This article originally appeared in aakpRENALIFE, Vol. 17, No. 1, July 2001.

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